Sunday, 29 June 2014

Opthalmo.

"Looming above in the manner of some insane watcher..."

"...the Pole Star, evil and monstrous, leers down from the black vault, winking hideously like some insane watching eye which strives to convey a message, yet recalls nothing save that it once had a message to convey." ~H.P. Lovecraft, Polaris


It is often that I pause once the night takes hold, to momentarily look up at the night sky and gaze at those distant stars so far away. Through my telescope, I watch the stars burn about their positions among the constellations; Circinus broods and skulks evermore, dull and dim along the darkness, murmuring yet never able to escape being outshone by the great and awesome light of the other celestial bodies.
Harmony in the skies must surely be brought about by ancient Libra; her stars sluggishly scudding along the heavens, though none are as bold, as present in the sky as the Pole Star itself, looking down upon the earth in the manner of some farthermost eye, ferocious and searing even as it and its galactic cousins spin around their own axes, drunken and oblivious to the plight of fleeting mortal life.
Minute spheres of radiant light, so blissful and detached from earthly musings and goings-on, carry a certain allure that nothing here can fully capture - alone in the sky, the stars go about their own lives, burning and spiraling as dancers whose stage is infinite and unchanging; the only pinpoints of light in a nothing so tenebrous and desolate. It was uneventful today, and the peace of the night comforted me somewhat out here. To observe the stars and catalog my discoveries fully, I had situated myself atop the murmuring hills where the stars grew unnatural, several miles out from the city of Gnosis, for thought its community was asleep, I would rather not deal with whom scurries about in the night or any hapless wanderer looking to ask what I was doing out here, in a time when most would be curled up in their beds. Solitude I found here, and here I would be undisturbed by any prying souls; I was alone and free to observe the outer realms for as long as I wished, and for a time, nothing was out of the ordinary.

For a time.
It had only just hit midnight, the chirping of the crickets fading and the birds falling silent with the odd cry here and there. Moonlight illuminated the trees here, their dark gnarled branches reaching upwards with crooked hands in the manner of a beggar lunging out for a coin. A cold wind blew through the surrounding forest, the trees shivering and murmuring in response, bringing a certain unease to my attention, but that did not matter. I was here to catalog stars for a presentation I had to present in naught but a few days, and time was of the utmost essence.
Pointing my telescope back up into the heavens, I once more glimpsed the stars hanging above - in a sense, they provided a certain comfort out here in the cold, for their positions in the night sky were the only constant I could rely on, out here or anywhere else, and so it was to my surprise that the light shining down upon the land was added a new intensity, shining brighter than before yet unable to match the light of the sun.
Peering up, I could now see why and was astonished at the cause; a new presence had made itself known in the sky, and it took a most frightening shape!
Luminous and distinct, this new celestial body held close appearance to a human eye, save for certain distinct details, though unlike the Pole Star, this presence was comparable to a nebula and was larger than many of the stars in the night sky, approximating the size of the Moon as seen from my own terrestrial perspective. The sclera of the eye shone a vivid shade of red, faintly flickering in the manner of a flame, enveloping a thin titian iris which encapsulated a large blue pupil at the center of the nebula. This pupil however, lacked color at the center, and looking at the core of the presence I saw nothing, not even the stars behind this curious eye; only a vast black maelstrom swirling and undulating with movement akin to some monstrous midnight ocean. I was in awe at what I was seeing, and if I was the first to document this...
Too giddy to think, I went to reach for my pen and paper, eager to write down what I was seeing, when the star unexpectedly pulsed with energy, a halo expanding outwards from the center in a flash of alien light and fading as soon as it arrived. This happened thrice soon after, with successive halos exploding out from the center in similar fashion and dissipating just as before, the eye still looming above in the manner of some insane watcher, thrumming with movement and yet its gaze still focused intently on the earth. Had I been a narcissistic man, I would have said the eye was gazing... at me.
Shaking such thoughts from my head, I moved from my position to better observe the eye, when to my surprise, it shifted in my direction. I could feel its gaze upon me, and I took a moment to laugh at the irony of the situation - the observer had now become the observed. My skin grew warm and my heart quivered in my chest, growing from a muted rhythm to a thumping portent shouting, begging for me to run. I was excited and yet also fearful of what would happen, but I could not hide a growing curiosity within me, as to my recollection, there had been no celestial object known to exhibit such incongruous behavior, nor display such an eerie luminosity among the stars and galaxies of the sky. Whatever this was, it may be some hitherto-unknown star, perhaps a flung-off galaxy; or perhaps something wholly unknown to the limited reach of mankind's instruments, and all I knew for certain was that it acted unlike a star and instead more like a being.
If that was the case, then this is certainly life as we do not know.
I was enraptured by the coruscating eye and its awesome motions, so much so that had I not returned to my paper and pad to note down further details, I may not have noticed the soft footfall behind me. Turning around, I saw nothing, and immediately returned to writing, assuming that the noises were the result of some wandering woodland animal trying to find its way. The footsteps began their distinct rhythm once more, and resisting the temptation to turn around, I vainly attempted to identify the source of the sound through hearing alone, which was thankfully heightened further in the near-silence of the midnight country. From what I could discern, the footfall was reminiscent of some bipedal creature, and yet had there been a human here, I would have seen them when I had previously turned. Frozen with fear, it took the greatest of strength to turn even a modicum to the source of this growing sound; it was at this point, I realized that the footsteps were coming from multiple directions, meaning I was either undergoing some auditory hallucination, or there was more than one presence out in the darkness. Darting to and fro, my eyes failed to spot anything in the fringes of the forest, so it was to my shock that once I mustered the courage to my back, what I saw was frightful enough - and unimaginable enough to cause me to utter a scream I had then thought inhuman. Stepping backwards, I hadn't even hit the ground before my vision faded to black.

Only the mutterings of psychedelia could describe what I had seen in those brief seconds before I fell unconscious, and even then I was not confident that would be adequate enough for full conceptualization of the figure beheld by my eyes. I cannot possibly find the words to bring shape and form to this entity, for it mocked those very concepts entirely in the brief instant I laid eyes upon it. If I could describe it adequately - and even then any approximations from myself or from a foreign observer would be wholly inadequate - the creature resembled a possibility, what could have been yet never was... or perhaps, what already is.
Paralyzed and unable to move, I lay on the ground for what seemed to be an eternity, those demons' footfall thumping louder and louder, the same figures circling around not unlike predatory caracharodonts toying with wounded prey before they went in for the kill. But the killing blow never came, and rather, I could only lay helpless at the mercy of such beings as they tortured me with visions and knowledge no mortal mind should ever know. Cities burning from their insides, eldritch beings skulking in the earth's farthermost reaches, death and destruction on unimaginable scales, yet despite all this, I had soon begun to lose the distinction between reality and fiction. The only constant in all this was that strange kaleidoscopic eye, overshadowing all other stars as it gloated happily in the midnight, burning its way into my psyche as it gazed into places I had thought safe from outsiders. Had I been dull of mind, I would have reasoned that the eye was reading through my own innermost secrets, attempting to find out more about this earthly being just as I had done to it not long ago. Now though, that certainly would appear to be the case, no matter what I say to comfort myself.
Without warning, the demons that haunted me grew silent before walking away, their footsteps deadened and silent by the time their voice ceased their assault upon me. As if it had grown bored with its new plaything, the malevolent eye let a final glorious halo exude from itself, before slowly dissipating to the point where it may as well not even have existed in the heavens at all.
The sleep that had fallen over my limbs was no more, and as I got up I was certainly relieved that these foul things were no more, yet still I could not shake the feeling that I was being watched from afar by some unseen force, and the coming days would not be kind to my paranoia.

Even after I had left the site and was back in the murmuring town of Gnosis, my fear grew into suspicion and eventually, aggressive hostility. I warned people - begged people not to go to the murmuring hills where the stars grew unnatural, but they would not listen. For my troubles, I was placed in the town's aging asylum as my health deteriorated and my obsession with this invisible watcher grew to the point where I was soon placed under the influence of blissful nepenthe, and at last I was quiet. And yet still I was troubled within by this strange presence, yet the shape it took was all too similar to me - scorching flames forming some maddening, malevolent eye burning in my mind, watching me from its perch in the black seas above.

H.P. Lovecraft's Polaris: http://www.dagonbytes.com/thelibrary/lovecraft/polaris.htm
Source of star image: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Space-Art-Helix-Nebula-324852426

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